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Band 6.5

Sport stars are paid too much for what they do . Do you agree or disagree wih this statement.

#sport #stars #wih
Sports
stars
 earn huge amounts of money through their outputs and reputations. In connection with
this
, some believe that their contract is overestimated compared to their abilities. I entirely oppose
this
 assertion. Indubitably, there are several reasons for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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reasons that popular athletes have responsibilities to get a lot of salaries. Foremost, famous
sports
stars
 have a lot of fans who patronize
stars
 as much as they can
such
 as buying goods or advertisement items. In fact, fans expense an enormous amount of money to obtain and preserve it to support their idols.
As a result
, the team which makes a contract with the idol
,
Remove the comma
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can get countless finances
as well as
 manage their team to reach the top level.
For instance
, making more signs to enrol diverse doers and reconstructing their grounds
not to mention
 buildings.
Conversely
, not only top class individuals bring benefits to their teams but
also
 lead their country's development. Primarily, high-level
sports
stars
 have enough mannerisms to centralize citizen's opinions
as well as
 to encourage both adult and
teenager
Replace the word
teenage
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 health management.
For example
,
one
Change preposition
in one
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 of the African nations, one
influencers
Change to a singular noun
influencer
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 who are well-known as football
stars
Fix the agreement mistake
star
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over
Change preposition
in
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 the world, stopped the war which transpired in his country and engaged their residents to live better.
Furthermore
, he invested his account to build several amenities
such
 as hospitals
as well as
sports
 centres. In a nutshell,
although
 there are some opinions that
sports
stars
 get too much money, I still contend that they possess enough duty to receive high salaries.
Submitted by kigj95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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