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Band 7.5

The chart below shows the result of survey of patient who stayed in three different wards of a hospitals. It shows what percentage of the patients replied "very good" aout various aspects of their hospital ecperience.

The chart below shows the result of survey of patient who stayed in three different wards of a hospitals. It shows what percentage of the patients replied "very good" aout various aspects of their hospital ecperience.
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Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart illustrates the demographic figures of
patient
Use synonyms
 views and reactions
according to
Linking Words
 the hospital's
ward
Use synonyms
 facility, which is in proportion to three different wards.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the hospital staff in a holly
ward
Use synonyms
 was rated with very good replies by patients in a proportion of nearly 90%. Where is
maple
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
 Was rated lowest staff satisfaction at above 50% followed by nearly 70% in
oak
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, waiting time was quite disappointing in
Maple
Use synonyms
 and
Oak
Use synonyms
 wards with
patient
Use synonyms
 reactions of between 60 to 50% and an average in Holly
ward
Use synonyms
 approx. at 74%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
patient
Use synonyms
 in each of these Wards was suppressing happiness with the quality of treatment at the highest in a holy
ward
Use synonyms
 at 90%, 70% in the
maple
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
 and 10% lower than the holly
ward
Use synonyms
 in the
oak
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
. but aftercare of treatment was reacted and averaged at 50% in
Maple
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
 and 70% quite nice in
Oak
Use synonyms
ward
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
patient
Use synonyms
 reaction in Holly
ward
Use synonyms
 in each of these categories was significantly high in comparison to others
lastly
Linking Words
 at almost 90% of happy patients in aftercare treatment.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words patient, ward, maple, oak with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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