IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The majority of adults are having sleeping problems in the recent years. Why is this the case and what are some possible solutions?

Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the adult population is experiencing issues related to
sleeping
Change the form of the verb
sleep
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because of the use of
mobil
Correct your spelling
mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 before going to sleep
along with
Linking Words
 irregular sleep patterns. To overcome
this
Linking Words
 issue, humans must follow disciplined sleeping patterns and reduce
screen
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
The mobile
Correct article usage
Mobile
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 have drastically developed over the
last
Linking Words
 few years
along with
Linking Words
 the content that can be streamed through
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
phones
Use synonyms
 with big screens enable majority of the adults to watch various kinds of entertainment at the
convinience
Correct your spelling
convenience
 of their beds, because of which they spend several minutes to hours watching the
screen
Use synonyms
 before going to sleep. Scientific research has proven that adults who watch
phones
Use synonyms
 before sleeping are more likely to have disturbed sleep than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people who avoid
screen
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 several hours before going to bed.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
screen
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, individuals who do not follow fixed sleeping patterns have a confused biological clock which again leads to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of good sleep.
However
Linking Words
, individuals can overcome these issues by strictly incorporating some habits that will enable them to achieve deep sleep.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the older generation must avoid the use of any kind of
screen
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 a few hours before going to bed.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a fixed sleeping pattern must be followed, which in specific must include going to bed early, as people are more likely to get deeper sleep when they sleep early.
Lastly
Linking Words
, exercises like yoga and meditation can be done a few minutes before going to bed which can
also
Linking Words
 add to quality sleep.
To sum up
Linking Words
, inconvenience in sleeping is faced by many nowadays and the number is increasing, but there are several simple solutions that can be adopted and practised
religiousely
Correct your spelling
religiously
 to bring about good sleep in
everyones
Change to a genitive case
everyone's
show examples
 life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: