In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking repoinsibility. What are your opinions on this?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that
children
Use synonyms
are increasingly participating in paid
work
Use synonyms
lately,
this
Linking Words
phenomenon can be seen in many nations.
However
Linking Words
, certain groups of people are concerned that
this
Linking Words
is a negative
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, it seems to me that
children
Use synonyms
can benefit from
work
Use synonyms
experiences, and learn more valuable lessons than general education. There are some points that why allowing
children
Use synonyms
to
work
Use synonyms
is beneficial.
First,
Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
will be able to notice the value of the currency. It is undeniable that a lot of teens have no idea about monetary value. So
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, they can learn
this
Linking Words
from earning money by themselves, which is an effective and straightforward way. By doing
this
Linking Words
, they are not only earning money and experiencing society, but they can
also
Linking Words
express their energy and be more concentrated on the school works. Another point is that even though allowing teenagers to
work
Use synonyms
at restaurants or
such
Linking Words
organizations can be dangerous, it is a great opportunity to teach them
reponsibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
For example
Linking Words
, if an employee delivers the wrong food to a customer, he must pay for it, and there is no way for an employee to escape
this
Linking Words
responsibility in a company.
This
Linking Words
is a meaningful lesson for
children
Use synonyms
because schools are not able to teach
such
Linking Words
abstract knowledge, and it is beneficial to learn
this
Linking Words
knowledge from an early age. In conclusion, participating in paid
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are a valuable lecture for
children
Use synonyms
as they absorb monetary knowledge and
also
Linking Words
learn how to take responsibility). Incidentally, working and studying simultaneously is a meaningful experience in the
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
lifetime.
Submitted by anson900506 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: