IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

IFossil fuels are essential for producing electricity, powering industry and fuelling transportation. However, one day we will reach a point when all the world’s fossil fuels have been depleted. How can we conserve these resources? What are some alternatives to fossil fuels?

#ifossil #fuels #electricity #industry #transportation #point #world’s #resources #alternatives
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There is no doubt that various countries around the world depend on petroleum products
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
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energy
Use synonyms
 sources to their citizens. Eventually,
this
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 will lead to utilizing most of Earth's reserves of fossil fuels.
However
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, there are some means which can assist in conserving
this
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 raw material,
in addition
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 to using other substitutes for it.
To begin
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 with, there are two suggestions to conserve these resources.
Firstly
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, through inventing or developing technologies that do not depend on fossil fuel as a main source.
In other words
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, finding other methods to energise our machines. A clear example of
this
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 is the development of the electric car sector.
For instance
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, Tesla, which is the main electric car producer in America is currently selling more than 100,000 units annually.
Moreover
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, a second option to reduce dependence on petrol is by emphasizing regulations and laws that can help in reducing the production process.
For example
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,
forbidden
Wrong verb form
it forbids
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 any production of
such
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 materials from oceans.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will lead to conserving these materials.
On the other hand
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, there are several renewable alternatives that people can use
instead
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 of carbon oils. As a start, solar
energy
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 can be a valuable resource of
power
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 for many nations.
For example
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, 33% of electricity in Germany is supplied by solar panels.
This
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 is a renewable and sustainable source of
energy
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which is
Verb problem
that
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 totally
depending
Wrong verb form
depends
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 on the Sun as the source of heating and light required for
this
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 operation.
Secondly
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, wind
power
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 is considered
as well as
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 an option to supply
energy
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 to people. Huge turbines are installed outside cities where the wind has to rotate motors that generate
power
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.
To conclude
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, with our current need for
power
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, fossil fuels will eventually be depleted.
However
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, by developing our recent technology, regulations, and alternatives which are related to using or producing these oils, and products depending on them, we can
then
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 help in reserving the fossil fuels for future generations.
Submitted by moh_zno on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear logical structure throughout. It's essential that ideas follow one another in a logical sequence, making it easy for the reader to follow your train of thought.
Task Response
When providing examples, it's important that they are fully developed and linked back to the main point being made. The use of examples such as Tesla and Germany is good, however, they could be elaborated upon further.
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