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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #communication #technology #effect #relationships
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These days more
people
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 are using advanced
technology
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due to
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 being in
contact
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 with others.
Although
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 some argue in fact
this
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 kind of communication would put our societal relationships in danger, I personally suppose hi-tech communication might trigger social
connection
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. Allocating the budget to areas without innovative
technology
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 or the
internet
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 and additional improvement of infrastructures by authorities would resolve the low-tech problems and
following
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this
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,
people
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 will have access to high-speed
internet
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 and be more in
contact
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.
While
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 in some limited occasions, like living in remote areas,
people
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 may not have access to the easy-to-connect
internet
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 or modern
technology
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also
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 maybe these
people
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 living are poorer than
people
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 living in urban areas
therefore
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 the rate of being in
contact
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 with their relatives through the
internet
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 would considerably decrease.
However
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,
this
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 issue would be easily solved by responsible officials who can provide fair accessibility for mentioned individuals and ,
consequently
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 more social
connection
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 will occur. Using online platforms or cutting-edge
technology
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 in order to keep social relationships not only may lead to strengthening the cordial
connection
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 between
people
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 but
also
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 could have another beneficial profit including improving the level of mental health and well-being for those who suffer from a lack of confidence.
In other words
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, with the advent of
technology
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people
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 can
contact
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 others more simply and easier than what was in the past and,
certainly
Add a comma
,certainly
show examples
 they would greet or meet together just by pushing some buttons through a virtual network
while
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 meeting in actual places they need a lot of time to arrange.
Additionally
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,
this
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 large amount of
connection
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 would enhance the mood of individuals who are shy or scared of being in actual places through virtual
connection
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 may improve their self-confidence after a
while
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. In conclusion, with various benefits of connecting by means of
technology
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such
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 as improving the level of relationships or some positive impact on mental ,health I absolutely believe
people
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 can take more advantage of modern
technology
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 in their life.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful conversations
  • notifications
  • long-distance relationships
  • online communities
  • social networks
  • social anxiety
  • digital communication
  • real-world interactions
  • over-reliance
  • detrimental effect
  • inhibit
  • deep social connections
  • distract
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