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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #households #kinds #technology #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the
usage
Use synonyms
 of
technologies
Use synonyms
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
US households from 1995 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 all
technologies
Use synonyms
use
Change the form of the verb
used
show examples
 by
residentals
Correct your spelling
residents
residential
 increased
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
period
Use synonyms
, despite fluctuations. Only washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
accounts
Wrong verb form
accounted
show examples
 for the highest ratio between 1995 and 1999. All the lines of the graph have different starting
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 in 1995. Over the
period
Use synonyms
, the
usage
Use synonyms
 of washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 and computer increased steadily. There was 60% to 80% of washing machine
usage
Use synonyms
, which was the most
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technologies
Use synonyms
 by
residentals
Correct your spelling
residents
 in the US.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the percentage of
housholds
Correct your spelling
households
used
Correct pronoun usage
that used
show examples
computer
Add an article
a computer
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
similarly
Linking Words
 increased from 40% to 70%. The
period
Use synonyms
 from 1995 to 1999 saw a
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
 change in phone
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 by
residental
Correct your spelling
residents
 in the US, from below 20% up to almost 80%. In the 1995-1999
period
Use synonyms
, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 a minor fluctuation in
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 and DVD player index. The
usage
Use synonyms
 of the Internet by households hit a low of 10% in 1995 which was the lowest starting point beyond other
technologies
Use synonyms
.
DVD
Add an article
A DVD
show examples
 player uses in the US dropped steadily from 25% to 15% between 1995 and 1996 but
then
Linking Words
 it rose constantly to 40% in 1999.
Submitted by hoangmyvan1904 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usage, technologies, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Households
  • Technology adoption
  • Growth rate
  • Decline rate
  • Milestones
  • Obsolete
  • Societal factors
  • Economic conditions
  • Advancements
  • Consumer preferences
  • Market saturation
  • Trend analysis
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