IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

‏In many countries, schoolchildren are required to wear school uniforms. ‏Do you think this should this be enforced in all schools?

#‏in #countries #schoolchildren #school #uniforms #‏do #be #schools
It has become a trend in many countries that pupils must wear
uniform
Add an article
a uniform
show examples
 to resemblant with each other. I opine that
this
 is an
affarmative
Correct your spelling
affirmative
 procedure and should be obligatory in all schools. some
notion
Fix the agreement mistake
notions
show examples
 surround my idea.
to begin
 with, schools are spots
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 students should
concenterate
Correct your spelling
concentrate
 on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 without having tension about trivial things
such
 as their
looking
Replace the word
looks
show examples
 and physical appearance.
therefore
, enforcement for putting on the same cloth can pick up a heavy burden from their shoulders and be stress relief per se.
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
 addition, wearing the same cloth is a positive way to reduce the class gap among the
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
 which is a significant issue
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 at the early ages
while
 the students are more vulnerable. to exemplify, surveys have shown that schools which prescribed
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 uniform for their pupils were more likely to exhibit illustrious education results from their students.
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to others.
furthuremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, that would be an
alleviate
Replace the word
alleviation
show examples
 for
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
 psyche and society. student,
as a result
 of
exposing
Wrong verb form
being exposed
show examples
 to fashion and peer
pressure
Add the comma(s)
pressure,
show examples
 may
persist
Verb problem
encourage
show examples
 their parents to purchase novel clothes
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
upset
Wrong verb form
upsetting
show examples
 the family budget.
moreover
, nurturing the culture of consumerism from
early
Correct article usage
an early
show examples
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
 can collapse a society's future by the creation
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
feeling that individuals are not enough unless they buy certain
material
Fix the agreement mistake
materials
show examples
.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 instance,
to sum up
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 reiterate that considering
uniform
Correct article usage
a uniform
show examples
 as a formal
cloth
Replace the word
clothing
show examples
 for children can have many prominent effects and that should be
promuglate
Correct your spelling
promulgated
promulgate
 by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to lessen the stress and the strain
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 pupils.
Submitted by majidimehrsa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve syntax and punctuation to enhance clarity and coherence.
task response
Address the prompt more directly and provide specific examples to support your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: