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Band 6.5

With an increasing overweight population some think universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#population #think #universities #sport #module #courses
The increasing of obese
students
 in universities is a topical issue in the present world. In relation to
this
, there is an argument that the academy opens lectures for maintaining
scholar's
Fix the agreement mistake
scholars'
show examples
 health. I partly oppose
this
 assertion. Indubitably, there are several reasons why physical activities class has to be created in college. Foremost, since
students
 spend most of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
following curriculums
as well as
 doing assignments. Specifically, in South Korea, most
students
 in the academy rely on vitamins to sustain their stamina
as well as
 consume essential minerals.
Furthermore
, they opt for attractive food to feel relieved which is not good for their body.
Therefore
, if an association related to education allows numerous outdoor activity classes in educational institutions, it would be perfect for
students
. On the flip side, it is hard to support both undergraduates and graduates
due to
 the limitation of budget. Primarily, in college, there are not only
students
 but
also
 employees
such
 as administrators and professors. To be more detailed, since groups use an enormous amount of money to manage their school for education, they easily get bankrupt. It is
due to
 the fact that educational businesses have to hire more staff in sports.
Moreover
, there may be constructed facilities for health
such
 as gyms
as well as
 playgrounds. To be elaborated
further
, the growth of fat people is entirely by themselves
thus
 they fail to control their behaviour. In a nutshell,
although
 academic fields have a duty because they cause a high proportion of obese people, I still contend that universities do not have responsibility.
Submitted by kigj95 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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