In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
It is possible to see open
areas
and public parks in some cities
that are not being controlled. In some cases, local people
are changing most of these areas
into gardens
where fruits and vegetables can be cultivated. Although
it can bring several advantages, like environmental benefits and access to fresh produce, I believe that its drawbacks are more important, because it can lead to potential conflicts among individuals and decrease the level of urbanization
.
On the one hand, changing recreational areas
and clear spaces into gardens
can be useful due to
several positives, one of them being benefits to the environment. In other words
, if local residents grow additional trees and plants in cities
, it can help to cut emissions and prevent pollution by decreasing the need for transportation of food. In this
way, the quality of air in the cities
can be better and people
should not buy fruits and vegetables, as they grow themselves. The second pro is getting fresh products. This
suggests that growing fruit and vegetables locally can provide residents with fresh, nutritious produce; this
can be particularly beneficial in urban areas
where access to fresh food may be limited. As a result
, worries and concerns about the quality of products can be tackled.
On the other hand
, some potential drawbacks of transforming parkland and unoccupied areas
into gardens
can be possible disputes between people
and lower the degree of urbanization
. First and foremost, it can lead to public contention. This
implies that there can be disagreements among residents about how the garden should be used or managed or there may be some people
complaining why they do not have the same chance as people
getting gardens
. Issues like this
can lead governments to face numerous problems. Furthermore
, the level of urbanization
can be diminished. In other words
, if some individuals in some cities
convert parks and open areas
into gardens
and plant their own fruits and veggies, governments may not do anything to develop structures of cities
, as those individuals possess the places and would be against to abandon. As a consequence
, this
development can be a significant problem for governments.
All things considered, in spite of the fact that this
development comes with several positives, like access to fresh fruit and ecologic advantages, I think its disadvantages outweigh its benefits since they may increase the likelihood of interpersonal conflicts and lower the rate of urbanization
.Submitted by minimix1203 on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear stance, try to develop more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Use personal anecdotes, statistics, or case studies where possible.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more concise. For instance, instead of 'if local residents grow additional trees and plants in cities, it can help to cut emissions and prevent pollution by decreasing the need for transportation of food,' you could say, 'growing more local produce reduces emissions and transportation pollution.'
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea. Some of the points about urbanization and public contention could be more tightly linked to the main topic of changing parks into gardens.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, framing your argument effectively.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the issue.
coherence cohesion
Linking words and cohesive devices are used effectively, helping to connect your ideas smoothly.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.