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Band 3

Some people prefered to be self employed whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. which do you think is a better approach.

#people #self #companies #institutions #approaches #approach
Many people prefer to
work
 in a
company
 or
an institutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
institutions
an institution
show examples
 where
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
some people opine
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
. There are pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects. There
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss each aspect. There are lots of advantages and disadvantages of
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
.
Firstly
, owning a
business
 allows freedom of
work
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if a man wants to earn more he works more and if doesn't want to
work
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 no
one
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 him to do so. There is no income barrier in
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
business
.
Secondly
, when there are ups and downs
then
one
 can suffer from that. There are no sick leaves or pensions in owning a
business
.
On the other hand
, working in a
company
 had great benefits
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
one
 can get sick leaves, pensions and if
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 is doing well
then
 employees get bonuses etc. but sometimes there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of mental
as well as
 physical pressure on employees when there is
overload
Add an article
an overload
the overload
show examples
 of
work
. I assert that doing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
 is far better than a job if there are no financial barriers and in starting
career
Add an article
the career
a career
show examples
 of
one
 or two years
one
 should get experience from a reputed
company
. In conclusion, working in both
company
as well as
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 have their own pros and cons.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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