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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people prefered to be self employed whereas others like working for companies or institutions. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches. which do you think is a better approach.

#people #self #companies #institutions #approaches #approach
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Many people prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in a
company
Use synonyms
 or
an institutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
institutions
an institution
show examples
 where
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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some people opine
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
. There are pros and cons
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects. There
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss each aspect. There are lots of advantages and disadvantages of
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, owning a
business
Use synonyms
 allows freedom of
work
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 if a man wants to earn more he works more and if doesn't want to
work
Use synonyms
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 no
one
Use synonyms
force
Change the verb form
forces
show examples
 him to do so. There is no income barrier in
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a
business
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when there are ups and downs
then
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 can suffer from that. There are no sick leaves or pensions in owning a
business
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, working in a
company
Use synonyms
 had great benefits
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
one
Use synonyms
 can get sick leaves, pensions and if
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 is doing well
then
Linking Words
 employees get bonuses etc. but sometimes there is
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of mental
as well as
Linking Words
 physical pressure on employees when there is
overload
Add an article
an overload
the overload
show examples
 of
work
Use synonyms
. I assert that doing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business
Use synonyms
 is far better than a job if there are no financial barriers and in starting
career
Add an article
the career
a career
show examples
 of
one
Use synonyms
 or two years
one
Use synonyms
 should get experience from a reputed
company
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, working in both
company
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
 have their own pros and cons.
Submitted by hiteshpaul on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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