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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#inventions #history #wheels #people #internet
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Some
people
 argue that the
internet
 is the most significant
invention
 throughout the
history
 of human beings.
However
, I strongly believe that it is a very important
invention
 but it is not the greatest as other
inventions
. When it comes to the
internet
,it is very useful and a lot of
people
 use it all over the world. After the
internet
 was invented,
people
's lives many changed more
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
 and made
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many jobs for
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
industry.
Also
, in the past, when
people
 wanted to search for
information
, they went to the library or bookstore and
then
 found
information
 in several books. But, nowadays, they
serach
Correct your spelling
search
 for
information
 on the desk by computer.
Although
 it is very simple, the number of
information
 is very varied and very large.
On the other hand
, if the computer was not
invention
Replace the word
invented
show examples
, the
internet
 was not invented.
Also
, computers were not invented
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why they do not have electricity
invention
. And, smartphones, metaverse, blockchain, ar, etc have
invened
Correct your spelling
invented
invested
 in recent days.
Also
, they are impossible to develop that
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have the
internet
. Like
this
, the
inventions
' ranking
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 difficult to decide. They are all
inventions
 of
inovation
Correct your spelling
innovation
 and essential in human
history
. Probably, the most important
inventions
 have continued to
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 the
sociaty
Correct your spelling
society
inviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
. In the hunting very important age, weapon
inventions
 were very important , and
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the moving very important age
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
wheels were very important
inventions
. For the reason mentioned above, I would disagree with my opinion because human
history
 had important
inventions
 always at the other age and
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
sociaty inviornment
Correct your spelling
social environments
.
Therefore
, the
internet
 is a very important
invention
, but wheels, lights, computers,electricity etc are very important
inventions
 too. Throughout human
history
, important
inventions
 have always emerged in different ages and societal environments
Submitted by moneekun on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • revolutionized
  • instantaneous
  • global communication
  • transform industries
  • democratized access
  • geographic and economic barriers
  • social connectivity
  • global communities
  • cultural exchange
  • telemedicine
  • foundational frameworks
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