With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered area of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extend do you agree?

From the starting point of human history, people
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
needed
energy
for their lives. In our modern world, the population getting larger day by day, and because of
this
, the global industry's
energy
demand rate climbing sharply and companies
wanted
Wrong verb form
want
show examples
and
supported
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
the idea which looking for new fossil fuel
resources
in new potential areas.
While
there are some strong reasons, I completely disagree with
this
opinion in some ways.
This
essay will point out the reasons why I am staying on the opposite side the discovering new hydrocarbon
resources
.
Firstly
, they are completely harmful to our environment. Especially cars whose engines use oil that produces CO2 every day. Our air was quality incredibly unhealthy. Because of the air conditions, our plants are
also
poisoned and we need to eat them. We need to eat poison. There is a circle which starts the
resources
area to our table, full of harmful chemicals.
Secondly
, virgin areas have some special flora and fauna. When the companies try to find new
energy
sources,
probably
Rephrase
apply
show examples
they destroy
this
unique region. Rare animals and endemic plants will die because of the making of more cosmetics and Mcdonalds'. It is not fair. We can stay alive without any cosmetic product but animals can not survive without water, trees and soil. We need to respect their homes,
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
life rights.
In addition
, If we really need more
energy
, we can use sustainable
resources
such
as sun, wind, water and
wave
Fix the agreement mistake
waves
show examples
.
Although
they are not 100 % environmentally friendly,
according to
hydrocarbon
resources
, they are obviously less harmful. In conclusion, there are some parts of the world that
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not open to searching for new oil and gas supplies.
However
many think that those areas should be open for searching, I completely disagree with that thought because of same reasons which I had already explained.
Submitted by onurkovaci0 on

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coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to better organize your ideas and make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in discussing the reasons for disagreeing with the statement. Provide a more comprehensive response to the given question, and ensure that your examples are relevant and well-explained.

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