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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country
The line chart illustrates the
consumption
 of fish and
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
several types of meat in a European nation over 25 years.
Overall
,
it is clear that
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of chicken
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 dramatically
druing
Correct your spelling
during
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 period,
while
beaf
Correct your spelling
beef
leaf
 and
lamp
Correct your spelling
lamb
show examples
showd
Correct your spelling
showed
show
shown
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply
Change the word
sharp
show examples
 decline and fish showed
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
show examples
unchange
Correct your spelling
change
.
Furthermore
, some kinds of food reach their peak and lowest point at certain years. Looking at
line
Correct article usage
the line
show examples
 graph in more detail,
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of
consumption
 of chicken showed
Correct article usage
a dramtaiclly
show examples
dramtaiclly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
drastically
 raise over
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 period from 145 to 250 grams per individual per
week
.
Moreover
, the
consumption
chicken
Change preposition
of chicken
show examples
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
zenith
Correct pronoun usage
its zenith
show examples
 at
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2002 at approximately 252 grams per
person
 per
week
.
In contrast
, the
consumption
 of fish was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 and showed relatively unaltered over
given
Add an article
a given
show examples
 period from 52 to 49 per
person
 per
week
. When it comes to other kinds of food, the
consumption
 of beef reach a peak in 1984 at around 248 per
person
 per
week
 and it reach
lowest
Add an article
the lowest
show examples
 point in 2002 at almost 99 per
person
 per
week
. In comparison,
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
lamp
Fix the agreement mistake
lamps
show examples
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
show examples
 point from 2000 to 2002 at around 52 per
person
 per
week
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, week, person with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fish
  • meat
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • gradual
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • steady
  • correlation
  • period
  • data
  • comparison
  • predominant
  • kilograms per capita
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • sustainability
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