IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

n some countries young people have little leisure time and under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#n #countries #people #leisure #time #pressure #work #studies
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Undoubtedly, developing nations tend to have a tough
education
Use synonyms
 system for their young
students
Use synonyms
 would be left with minimum
time
Use synonyms
 to pursue their hobby.
Therefore
Linking Words
, better
education
Use synonyms
 comes with liabilities where stress in
this
Linking Words
 situation is pretty common. For
this
Linking Words
, the essay will examine both of the prospects of
this
Linking Words
 fundamental. The introduction of new courses and learning patterns in every field of study now has become a major concern, which would determine several crucial factors in
students
Use synonyms
, livelihood.
However
Linking Words
, competition among the other
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 to achieve first string has a significant breakthrough in youngster life,
whereas
Linking Words
 pressure on working and the environment to achieve significant goals had put people in a dilemma.
Where many
Rephrase
Many
show examples
 of us were left with barely minimum
time
Use synonyms
 for ourselves to follow hobby even doing free activities which would
give
Verb problem
put
show examples
 us under pressure at work. New
education
Use synonyms
 policy and a hard
time
Use synonyms
 studying after a long COVID-19 lockdown break could be the main problem of
this
Linking Words
 prospect.
For example
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 of the current generation have a
facing
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
hard
time
Use synonyms
 following their
left out
Verb problem
apply
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 and long holiday break should be the cost of it which
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 left us with a pending workload. At the same ,
time
Use synonyms
 it’s pleasantly reasonable for less
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is important to schedule a working environment for
students
Use synonyms
 where they could have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves too.
For instance
Linking Words
, western countries have been the major focus point of
this
Linking Words
 complication because
men
Correct your spelling
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 would have to work part-
time
Use synonyms
 on campus to earn extra bucks, which will help them to pay their tuition debt. but in the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
end they will receive simultaneous pressure from the working environment, and
then
Linking Words
 they
would
Wrong verb form
will be
show examples
 left with little
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves.
In addition
Linking Words
, optimising both work and life balance is a crucial part of young
students
Use synonyms
' lives, even though the educational institute should follow pragmatic ways to provide
education
Use synonyms
 for young people
yet
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it will be
time
Use synonyms
-saving too.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there is no doubt
about modernise
Change preposition
that modernised
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 system is having a hard
time
Use synonyms
 for young pupils and constant mental straight have been seen at in normal rate. In my opinion, a detailed plan for regular routine would help to solve
this
Linking Words
 dilemma.
Submitted by user349953 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve logical connection between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.
task response
More detailed examples and specific ideas are needed to support the main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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