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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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Today high
sugar
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-level
products
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 are contained in many sources of food and drink, especially mass-produced goods. The more
people
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 can easily access those sugary
products
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, the worse their health is going to be. I completely agree with the concept of increasing the price of
products
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 including
sugar
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 to adjust their habit of using less
sugar
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 and for themselves to replace the chemical
sugar
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural or non-
sugar
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 ones. One of the main reasons for making
sugar
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 to be expensive is to help
people
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 mitigate the amount of
sugar
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 consumed and
then
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 change their habit of not overusing
sugar
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. That way, those foods and drinks that contain high
sugar
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 levels could be deterred by the price, so
people
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 will not buy them as commonly as before even though they cannot just buy them to eat for fun.
This
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 could lead to avoiding the accumulation of
sugar
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 in old age and
this
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 is perfect for their health in the future.
Hence
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, they can steer clear of the possibility of having high blood
sugar
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 levels. Another significant advantage of increasing the number of sugary
products
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 is to encourage
people
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 to consume natural or non-
sugar
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products
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. There are a lot of fruits that contain a certain amount of
sugar
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 that can add flavour to food
such
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 as bananas, dates, mango,etc.
For example
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, when making smoothies,
instead
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 of putting
sugar
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, we can use bananas and apples
instead
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 and they can provide sufficient sweetness and taste good. The more alternative ways to replace
sugar
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, the fewer purchases we make. In conclusion, I would argue that it is necessary to up the prices of sugary
products
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 to pivot consumers to healthy habits and replace
sugar
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 with natural sweetness.
Submitted by khanhduong2103 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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