Describe a toy you liked in your childhood What kind of toy it is When you received it How you played it And how you felt about it

Everyone certainly had a childhood toy and do I. In all of the toys, I was often attracted to gentle beauty so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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dolls
and
barbies
Capitalize word
Barbies
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were
the
Change the word
my
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first choice at that time. Those
dolls
were thought of as decoration;
however
, they were manufactured with items
such
as various clothes,
fashion
Correct word choice
and fashion
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accessories.
Although
I was in love with
barbies
Capitalize word
Barbies
show examples
, I didn’t ask my parents to buy them. My mother had given me a contract that she would give me a new doll if I got a high score in the
end of term
Add a hyphen
end-of-term
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test. When I was
second
Change preposition
in second
show examples
grade, I got 10 points
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
math
Add an article
the math
a math
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test. After
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
my mom gave me a family doll as promised. I was so excited that I took it out and played it. Impersonating characters was the most interesting way to play
dolls
. Normally, I often invited my friends in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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pretending
Wrong verb form
pretended
show examples
to be characters
such
as
Add an article
a teacher
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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with students,
family
Correct word choice
and family
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.
Finally
, playing
dolls
Change preposition
with dolls
show examples
helped me
expressing
Wrong verb form
express
show examples
emotion.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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