IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Describe a toy you liked in your childhood What kind of toy it is When you received it How you played it And how you felt about it

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Everyone certainly had a childhood toy and do I. In all of the toys, I was often attracted to gentle beauty so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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dolls
Use synonyms
 and
barbies
Capitalize word
Barbies
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 were
the
Change the word
my
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 first choice at that time. Those
dolls
Use synonyms
 were thought of as decoration;
however
Linking Words
, they were manufactured with items
such
Linking Words
 as various clothes,
fashion
Correct word choice
and fashion
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 accessories.
Although
Linking Words
 I was in love with
barbies
Capitalize word
Barbies
show examples
, I didn’t ask my parents to buy them. My mother had given me a contract that she would give me a new doll if I got a high score in the
end of term
Add a hyphen
end-of-term
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 test. When I was
second
Change preposition
in second
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 grade, I got 10 points
in
Change preposition
on
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math
Add an article
the math
a math
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 test. After
that
Add a comma
,that
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 my mom gave me a family doll as promised. I was so excited that I took it out and played it. Impersonating characters was the most interesting way to play
dolls
Use synonyms
. Normally, I often invited my friends in the
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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pretending
Wrong verb form
pretended
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 to be characters
such
Linking Words
 as
Add an article
a teacher
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teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 with students,
family
Correct word choice
and family
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, playing
Use synonyms
dolls
Change preposition
with dolls
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 helped me
expressing
Wrong verb form
express
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 emotion.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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