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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend
There is a concern about how
children
 spend their leisure
time
 after the appearance of new
technologies
. A large number of parents believe that the disadvantages could outweigh the benefits it brings, and I support
this
 view. New
technologies
 not only bring drawbacks for
children
 but
also
 a few benefits.
Children
 could gather more knowledge through the Internet. There are many
youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
 videos, websites and channels containing helpful information for
children
 that they can learn through the screen.
Children
 can contact international friends in order to have the opportunity to learn other languages. Through playing games, some necessary skills can be adopted by
children
 to gain an edge over other students with limited social skills.
However
, despite its merits, the belief that the disadvantages overshadow the advantages is still a major topic of concern. The major culprit for the disagreement of parents must be the addiction to new
technologies
. The designs of many playing apps and social media could easily attract more
children
 and lead to a lack of
attending
Verb problem
apply
show examples
outdoor activities.
For instance
, many news articles talk about the concern that many students forgot about their schools because of spending
time
 playing games, and now they are on the verge of being kicked out.
Moreover
, I believe that there are some difficulties in preventing their child from bad aspects of the internet
such
 as dark websites,
due to
 the encouragement from their friends and their curiosity. Scientists
also
 claim that using
technologies
 for a long period of
time
 is significantly bad for
children
’s health.
As a result
, there are some serious drawbacks to the aforementioned trend. In conclusion, the wave of adolescents spending their leisure
time
 on modern
technologies
 undoubtedly brings more demerits than advantages for
children
.
Submitted by lamminhhuy78 on

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task respons
Develop your ideas with more depth and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly related to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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