IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays families are not close as they used to What the cause and how to solve this problem

Familiy
Correct your spelling
Family
 bond has become less strong not like before
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are familiar with each other and participate all
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will discuss the reasons and solutions for
this
Linking Words
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
. There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming less familiar with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 have dual
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 which are working full
time
Use synonyms
 to fulfill the
children
Use synonyms
's
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
. As
children
Use synonyms
 nowadays have
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of requirements like
rents
Fix the agreement mistake
rent
show examples
, food and entertainment.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
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 of technology has had a huge impact on family
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
.
Parents
Use synonyms
 most of their days
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
 in
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 and social media, and
children
Use synonyms
 spend their
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 playing
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
 games.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is difficult for families to find
time
Use synonyms
 to
socilize
Correct your spelling
socialize
socialise
 and spend it with their relatives.
For example
Linking Words
, when families
dinning
Correct your spelling
dining
show examples
 together any family member take their
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
 and
using
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 may be scrolling the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
internet or using social media
instead
Linking Words
 of sharing daily situations with each other.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 are becoming less connected and the family circle is reduced. To address
Linking Words
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
,
parents
Use synonyms
 must
priotrise
Correct your spelling
prioritise
 some
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
children
Use synonyms
. If
parents
Use synonyms
 stop using mobile phones, they will find some
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with
Use synonyms
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
.
Children
Use synonyms
 need to play with and share some memorable moments with them.
In addition
Linking Words
,
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 and
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 must reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working hours to be more flexible. Or
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
people
Use synonyms
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 to work from home to find more free
time
Use synonyms
 to spend it with their families. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 it may be challenging to find some
time
Use synonyms
 to spend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with
children
Use synonyms
, it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
unsurmontable
Correct your spelling
insurmountable
unsurmountable
 as there are
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of solutions.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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