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Band 4

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #governments #prioritize #healthcare #areas
In today’s world, there has been a growing debate about
healthcare
 development in some countries.
While
 some people believe that
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 section should be the most priority for
improving
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, others dispute that it should be balanced with the other
sectors
. Personally, I firmly believe that the importance of
healthcare
 services surpasses the others.
To begin
 with,
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of
healthcare
sectors
 offers several benefits for citizens and governments. Making the public welfare for individuals as a fundamental service should be required, enabling residents to focus on their life goals without any concerns about
healthcare
 expenses.
Moreover
,
healthcare
 well-being provides a stronger society, leading to
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 becoming more productive in their professional life, ultimately contributing to economic growth.
Besides
, in
elder
Correct article usage
an elder
show examples
 society, the prosperity of
healthcare
 sections prevents elder individuals from serious disease by offering annual preventive measures or lowering medical services expenditure, reducing added financial burden which
helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 them from avoiding going to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
while
 having an illness.
On the other hand
, there are numerous
sectors
 which the government should focus on to improve the quality of their population.
Firstly
, the poverty issue is one of the primary problems challenging the government to deal with.
Therefore
, stimulating economic growth should be one of the main tasks of authorities, providing financial stability for their citizens.
Moreover
,
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
 of education for children should be unavoidable, offering scholarships for students or supporting educational expenditures for their parents, contributing
strong
Change preposition
to strong
show examples
 performance populations in the country. In conclusion,
although
 some people argue that
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of
healthcare
sectors
 should be balanced with the others as the economic growth and educational section are the primary problems in several countries, I strongly believe that
healthcare
 welfare should be the fundamental human right for having a pleasant quality of life, making a productive society to boost economic development and support elderly people from serious disease, which is the main job of country administrators.
Submitted by title848 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal healthcare
  • preventive medicine
  • public health infrastructure
  • social determinants of health
  • fiscal allocation
  • government expenditure
  • gross domestic product (GDP)
  • life expectancy
  • pandemic preparedness
  • health equity
  • social safety net
  • holistic approach
  • non-communicable diseases
  • cross-sector collaboration
  • socioeconomic status
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