IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 frequently discuss how
education
Use synonyms
 and bad behaviour are linked. Several studies suggest that if someone lacks
education
Use synonyms
, they might be more likely to do incorrect things.
This
Linking Words
 has led
people
Use synonyms
 to believe that teaching those in prison can prevent them from committing crimes again after they are released.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
This
Linking Words
 upcoming article will share my viewpoint prior to reaching a conclusion. Primarily, one main reason for the belief that
education
Use synonyms
 can reduce lawlessness is that getting a good
education
Use synonyms
 can lead to better job opportunities.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, things do not always go as planned. Let us consider John as an example, a fictional person who spent time in prison. He learned a lot
while
Linking Words
 behind bars, even earning a certificate in computer programming.
Consequently
Linking Words
, when he tried to find a job after his release,
people
Use synonyms
 still saw him as someone who caused trouble because of his past.
Hence
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 alone may not change how
people
Use synonyms
 view those who have been in trouble previously, making it hard for them to fit back into regular life.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
 can help with several issues, it cannot solve everything. Research shows that misdemeanour has numerous reasons, like not having an abundance of money, growing up in a difficult family, or struggling with personal problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, a study from the National Institute of Justice found that numerous
people
Use synonyms
 who go back to committing crimes after jail have problems with drugs or their emotions.
Thus
Linking Words
, only teaching them might not be enough to stop them from going back to felonies. We need to consider the bigger picture and provide help with other things too.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 teaching
people
Use synonyms
 behind bars might sound like a good idea, it might not be the only solution.
Education
Use synonyms
 can offer opportunities;
on the contrary
Linking Words
, it cannot promise success for those who have had problems previously.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, providing
education
Use synonyms
 might not be helpful since crime has various reasons, like money, family, and feelings, beyond merely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a clear position and support it with relevant examples and arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, ensure that each paragraph is logically linked and there is a clear progression of ideas.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used. Use a variety of synonyms and academic vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Diversify sentence structures and use complex structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical features.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: