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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
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People
Use synonyms
 frequently discuss how
education
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 and bad behaviour are linked. Several studies suggest that if someone lacks
education
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, they might be more likely to do incorrect things.
This
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 has led
people
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 to believe that teaching those in prison can prevent them from committing crimes again after they are released.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 idea.
This
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 upcoming article will share my viewpoint prior to reaching a conclusion. Primarily, one main reason for the belief that
education
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 can reduce lawlessness is that getting a good
education
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 can lead to better job opportunities.
Nevertheless
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, things do not always go as planned. Let us consider John as an example, a fictional person who spent time in prison. He learned a lot
while
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 behind bars, even earning a certificate in computer programming.
Consequently
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, when he tried to find a job after his release,
people
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 still saw him as someone who caused trouble because of his past.
Hence
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,
education
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 alone may not change how
people
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 view those who have been in trouble previously, making it hard for them to fit back into regular life.
Moreover
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,
while
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education
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 can help with several issues, it cannot solve everything. Research shows that misdemeanour has numerous reasons, like not having an abundance of money, growing up in a difficult family, or struggling with personal problems.
For instance
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, a study from the National Institute of Justice found that numerous
people
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 who go back to committing crimes after jail have problems with drugs or their emotions.
Thus
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, only teaching them might not be enough to stop them from going back to felonies. We need to consider the bigger picture and provide help with other things too.
To sum up
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,
although
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 teaching
people
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 behind bars might sound like a good idea, it might not be the only solution.
Education
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 can offer opportunities;
on the contrary
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, it cannot promise success for those who have had problems previously.
Therefore
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, in my opinion, providing
education
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 might not be helpful since crime has various reasons, like money, family, and feelings, beyond merely.
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task response
Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task. Provide a clear position and support it with relevant examples and arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained, and the introduction and conclusion are present. However, ensure that each paragraph is logically linked and there is a clear progression of ideas.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used. Use a variety of synonyms and academic vocabulary to express ideas more precisely.
grammatical range
Diversify sentence structures and use complex structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical features.
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