IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think art such as sculpture and music cannot improve quality of people’s lives so the government should not spend money on them but on health and defense. What is your opinion?

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It is the belief of some
people
Use synonyms
 that the health sector and defence should be made stronger by the government
instead
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 of focusing on the art. Through the passage below I will discuss both schools of thought and at the
,
Remove the comma
apply
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end I would share my opinion about
this
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 matter. Art
such
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 as sculpture and music are encouraged by the nations. They provide historical and traditional knowledge about the region to other
people
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.
In addition
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, the exhibitions and launch of music across the world could open a path to generate money.
Moreover
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,
this
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 money could be utilized for the facilitation of
people
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.
On the other hand
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, the other side considers that health facilities
such
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 as free medication bills, and testing facilities to secure better opportunities should be encouraged. Medicine services should be given to every individual in rural areas
also
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.
Additionally
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, the defence sector should be made strong to make the
people
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 safe. I believe both sides should be given equal importance because they are equally responsible for improving the economy of the country. If the economy is stronger and balanced
then
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people
Use synonyms
 would be well-maintained and satisfied.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enhancement of quality of life
  • Emotional and psychological benefits
  • Creativity and critical thinking
  • Stress reduction
  • Self-expression
  • Emotional and mental well-being
  • Educational values
  • Cultural awareness
  • Tourism boost
  • Employment opportunities
  • Cultural status
  • Sense of identity and community
  • Social cohesion
  • Budget allocation
  • Cultural enrichment and preservation
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