Nowadays many children have access to the internet and a large number of children enjoy playing online games. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #access #internet #games #trend

this

globalization era, the accessibility of the internet makes

children

addicted to online

games

Although

there is a positive side

Change preposition

show examples

this

phenomenon, I believe that the negative sides are greater than the advantages. It is undeniable that playing

games

is essential for

children

to stimulate the brain. It is commonly believed that

children

are still in the phase of brain development.

That is

the reason why it is always good to give some treatment that can improve their ability

of thinking

Change preposition

to think

show examples

For example

children

who are exposed to online

games

usually have good English skills because most online applications use English.

Also

, having puzzle

games

in leisure time could help

children

to think fast to solve some cases.

On the other hand

, there are several drawbacks that still make some parents anxious about online

games

. Spending too much time in front of a laptop might damage

eyes

Correct article usage

the eyes

show examples

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

for

children

Additionally

, adolescents would find it hard to manage their time between

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

and

play

Wrong verb form

playing

show examples

because they are addicted to online

games

. To illustrate, nowadays it is obvious that many pupils prefer to play online

games

in the middle of the class.

This

might be dangerous for their attitude in the future.

To sum up

, in my perspective playing online

games

is still acceptable to some extent as long as their parents always take control of it.

However

, it is inevitable that online

games

could be something that becomes harmful for the younger generation

such

as an addiction habit.

Submitted by misstiasclassroom on Wed Aug 16 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many children have access to the internet and a large number of children enjoy playing online games. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people prefer to buy readymade food from restaurants or convenience stores instead of cooking for themselves. What are the advantages and the disadvantages of this? Write at least 250 words.

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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

A friend invited you to join his birthday party next week, but you are too busy to attend. Write a letter to explain your situation and express your feelings. You should write at least 150 words.