IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Over the past 50 years, young people have gained status and power but old people have lost. What is the cause and is it a good development?

It is said that the juvenile have gained status and power
although
Linking Words
 the elderly have lost over the past five decades. In my perspective, the shift has been caused by the development of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and the rapid change in
society
Use synonyms
. And I consider the situation to be a good development
while
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 it has some disadvantages.
First,
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the
Internet
Use synonyms
 has developed at high speed over
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last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 decades, making it difficult for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens to follow.
For example
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, many things
such
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 as
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 or news are digitised and
increasing
Add an article
an increasing
the increasing
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 number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people get information on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. Because the
Internet
Use synonyms
 has been introduced in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
, leisure and other aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 daily life, the elderly who cannot use online tools well cannot deal with issues effectively.
Additionally
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,
rapidly
Correct article usage
a rapidly
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 changing
society
Use synonyms
 has degraded the power of the elderly.
The senior
Correct article usage
Senior
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 citizens tend to be familiar with methods or custom which were maintained for
long
Correct article usage
a long
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 period, but in modern life, the style of living or habits changes frequently. Because of
this
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, the elderly cannot adapt to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life well. Admittedly,
this
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 development has drawbacks,
for example
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,
idea
Add an article
the idea
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 of the elderly cannot be treated as seriously.
On the other hand
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, in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
society
Use synonyms
 in which young people have initiatives, more priority is put on education for children and it
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
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economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 growth of the country.
Also
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, the
assist
Replace the word
assistance
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 to parenting can be provided by governments. The policy for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation will enrichen
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the increasing younger’s power and
drop
Correct article usage
the drop
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the elderly’s authority
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 caused by the increasing use of the
Internet
Use synonyms
 and changing
society
Use synonyms
. And the shift is considered to have
benefits
Change the verb form
benefited
show examples
 from the view of
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation’s happiness.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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