Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves. Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion? (Discussion)

#people #governments #change #individuals #points #discussion

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is said that individuals should be responsible for choosing their own paths,

while

others believe that

this

responsibility belongs to

governments

This

essay will discuss both viewpoints of

this

argument and I will illustrate my perspective in the conclusion. On the one hand, it is obvious that there are several reasons for

governments

to alter

people

's lives.

To begin

with, they may help

people

to choose their most suitable job. In

this

digital era, every aspect of a person can be found and analyzed by

governments

Therefore

, they can help that person to choose the best option.

Subsequently

this

suggestion will increase the efficiency and performance of

society

. Given

society

is a machine,

people

are cogs, and the operator is the government, they will know the best place and the best job for a citizen, which can exploit all his or her potential for

society

Therefore

, letting

governments

choose your path is a good and stable choice.

On the other hand

, there is no doubt that

people

have the right to choose their own paths because of several reasons. the foremost reason is that there is no one

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

understands

people

more than themselves. There always will be some unspoken dreams or ambitions that no one knows, so their choices may have a high to be the ones that are most suitable for them. Another reason is that it is

people

's choice to live in their favorable ways and it is

also

the way

people

gain life experiences. Experiencing failures, successes, challenges, and similar things only can happen when they choose to take risks or so.

Therefore

, choosing the way themselves is an important part of

people

's lives and experiences. In conclusion,

although

letting

governments

choose

people

's paths has many benefits

such

as suitable jobs and increasing

society

's performance, I prefer allowing

people

to decide their own life because only they can understand themselves and it is

also

a way for them to gain social experiences.

Submitted by cathyngo1512 on Wed Aug 16 2023

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task response

The essay adequately addresses both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion. Make sure to stay focused on the main points and avoid repetition.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a good overall structure and uses cohesive devices effectively. However, consider varying sentence structure for enhanced coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

327 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves. Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion? (Discussion)

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the pressure on schools and university students has been increasing. And they are pushed to work hard at a very young age. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

n spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?