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Band 5

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of people accessing news via different media in one country in 2013, 2015 and 2017. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie chart shows us
dissimilarity
Correct article usage
the dissimilarity
show examples
 between the
percentage
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 of
people
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 who got
news
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 from diverse social resources in 2013, 2015 and 2017. In 2013,
people
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 were watching
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news
Add an article
the news
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 on TV screens mostly, which is indicated by 80% of the audience.
This
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 year newspapers, radio and
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Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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 were a lot less used sources than television.
Besides
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,
TV
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the TV
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 will hold the lead among other media for a long time, so we can notice that in 2015, its
percentage
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 was very high, but the second place in popularity went to the
internet
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, which started to grow fast. Observing the other sources of
news
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, we can mention that the
percentage
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 of
people
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 listening to the radio does not change significantly,
while
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 the popularity of the newspapers falls every year. Speaking about the year 2017, television holds leadership, but surprisingly, the
internet
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 pulls ahead sharply and turns out to be highly competitive with TV.
Overall
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, we can see a clear upward trend in the
percentage
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 of
people
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 using
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Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of television
news
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 viewers seems to have levelled off.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, news, internet with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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