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Band 4.5

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #companies #people #work #home #office
In
Change preposition
At
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 present times, few organizations permit
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 staff to perform tasks independently without any supervision.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there are some other
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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 that
demands
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demand
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face to face
Add a hyphen
face-to-face
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 involvement, which cannot be handled digitally, I wholeheartedly
supports
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support
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 the idea of online
work
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I would elaborate
further
along with
 both ideologies in
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs. To commence with
former
Add an article
the former
show examples
 notion, the key point is that there are various kinds of
work
 that can be managed online promptly. Even though, they demand
two- sided
Correct your spelling
two-sided
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 interaction, which is manageable on phone,
Correct word choice
and laptop
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laptop
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laptops
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 using
internet
Correct article usage
an internet
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 connection.
For instance
, covid pandemic revolutionized the world with the trend of working from home, where most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals in various professions were asked by their employers to
work
 by sitting at their homes
such
 as teaching professionals, customer service assistants and many more.
Thus
,
this
 trend probably yielded better outcomes than visiting
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
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 and performing
work
 responsibilities, which turns into
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
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 of working independently from home and remained
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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 to follow.
On the other hand
, some job places still
requires
Change the verb form
require
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 physical involvement by individuals. If they do not make regular
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 to their job, they may not
able
Add a missing verb
be able
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 to perform their duties and responsibilities during their
work
 hours. To illustrate,
considering
Wrong verb form
consider
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 the situation of doctors, nurses, engineers,
cleaners
Correct word choice
and cleaners
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,
as
Correct word choice
apply
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all these professionals must have to be physically present to do their
work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it cannot be performed at any online platform. Henceforth, it is significant for people in these streams to continue their
wok
Correct your spelling
work
show examples
 in their office or designated place. I personally concur that working with freedom is much better than doing
job
Correct article usage
a job
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 under someone's supervision all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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, as it offers more flexibility to one. In conclusion, it can be concluded that both
sort
Change to a plural noun
sorts
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 of working trends have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own advantages.
However
, the latter idea suits the majority 's needs. +
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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