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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believed that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while other believe that it is better to get a job straight after graduating from high school. Discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school
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It is said that continuing to go to
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
 or vocational training is the best way to get a financially viable course,
while
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 there are some people tell that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would rather have
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 life night after finishing the high-school.
According to
Linking Words
 my opinion, both views have advantages for a career in the future.
This
Linking Words
 writer will provide the evidence.
Firstly
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, going to an academy or college, enables us to have a large amount of knowledge in the field and improve a property of
skills
Use synonyms
 in the work environment
such
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 as thinking or the ability to calculate. Most of the relevant enterprise
skills
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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, developing academic information is very needed for a well-paid
job
Use synonyms
, which is seem considered a compulsory part of
a
Add a missing verb
being a
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billionaire and successful person.
Moreover
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, university in the present, admission has an area of abilities to develop their accomplishment by themselves and easily get
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
action
Use synonyms
 after studying.
On the other hand
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, the people who get a social
action
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 have benefits to their career. The first reason, nowadays, the consumption of coffee and milk tea is increasing dramatically. So , there are a lot of coffee shops anywhere. They
also
Linking Words
 need mature admission and gain
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 area of opportunities to get a
job
Use synonyms
 early
such
Linking Words
 as service profession, washing dishes and being
cashier
Add an article
a cashier
the cashier
show examples
.
According to
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 social time, recruitment
also
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 can get a
job
Use synonyms
 in public areas
such
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 as libraries,
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 store even security in parks. That
job
Use synonyms
 activity can help recruitment get some social
skills
Use synonyms
 like communication
skills
Use synonyms
 and experiences in behaviour. In conclusion, having an
action
Use synonyms
 or going to an academy has advantages to a successful course. But to be honest, going to study is still better than having
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action
Use synonyms
 early.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we should work and study hard and be more and more hard-working

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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