The supplied graph represents the proportion of tourists to England who went certain attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

#proportion #tourists #england #attractions #brighton

The supplied graph represents the proportion of tourists to England who went

certain

Change preposition

to certain

show examples

attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010. It is obvious that all of the four attractions

were fluctuated

Change to the active voice

fluctuated

have fluctuated

show examples

while

festival

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

had dropped slightly by 2010. Concerning Pavilion, in 1980 the total tourist

attraction

was approximately 25% which

then

climbed

shaprply

Correct your spelling

sharply

to a peak

around

Change preposition

of around

show examples

50% in 1995.

However

, from 1995 Pavilion

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased to around 35% in 2000 and steadily declined to 30%. The Pier

attratction

Correct your spelling

attraction

attractions

showed fluctuations

throught

Correct your spelling

through

throughout

the years in comparison to a Pavilion.

Usually

Add a comma

,Usually

show examples

the trend was upward,

as a

result

Add the comma(s)

,result

show examples

it ended at

modest

Correct article usage

a modest

show examples

pecentages

Correct your spelling

percentages

percentage

in 2010. The percentage of Festival slightly fell from 30% to around 25% in 1995 and

then

gradually grow again to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

almost 30%. During all

this

time Festival has not shown

the

Correct determiner usage

any

show examples

fluctuations and was the most stable

attraction

By contrast

, the Art Gallery had sharply grown to peak in 1985 from

humble

Correct article usage

a humble

show examples

20% to almost 40% ,but

then

had

delined

Correct your spelling

declined

show examples

dramatically to around 9% by 2010, being the least

prefferesd

Correct your spelling

preferred

attraction

in Brighton.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Aug 16 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words attraction with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "represents" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

179 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?
Citizens of some countries believe that buying a house is more important as opposed to renting it, and there are various reasons for this opinion. I think this circumstance is a positive one.
<4
band
There are several advantages to hosting an international sporting event. There are disadvantages too. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
There are numerous advantages of being a host of the International sporting agenda. Not only that, there is a bad effect conducting that event as well. In this essay I will elaborate my both points of view, then I declare my state in the last paraghrap.
7
band
Millions of dollars are spent on research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.
These days, millions of money are utilized for space research annually. Some individuals believe that money should be better used to enhance living conditions on Earth. In my point of view, I both agree and disagree with this view because there are also pros and cons about both of these views.
4
band
Some people think it is better to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?
It is an incontestable fact that childhood is the best period of one’s life. Immaturity is the most colorful and amazing stage for every human being. In addition, there are predominantly two opposing viewpoints, according to which part of society argues that kids are better off growing up in the city than in the countryside. This essay will discuss both views and share my point of view towards the given statements.
6
band
The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.
The given table shows where the police fund came from in both 2017 and 2018 in one region of Britain, while the pie charts show in which category this fund spent in these two years. Overall, in 2018, the budget allocated to police was more than that of 2017. However, in both two years the highest amount of the money which belonged to the police budget, came from the National Government. Also the largest proportion of the budget, spent on salaries.

The supplied graph represents the proportion of tourists to England who went certain attractions in Brighton between 1980 and 2010.

in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might this be the case? do you think it is a positive or negative situation?

There are several advantages to hosting an international sporting event. There are disadvantages too. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Millions of dollars are spent on research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standard on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think it is better to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one are of Britian. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distribiuted.