IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places? And how to increase its popularity?

#forms #transport #places #popularity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that protecting the environment is one of the urgent phenomena nowadays, and using green transportation plays a vital role in solving
this
Linking Words
 issue. Among various means of transport, cycling is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the most environmentally friendly. In spite of its benefits, cycling is not as common as it should be in many regions
Linking Words
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some
reasons
Use synonyms
, and there ought to be some solutions to boost its popularity. There are primary
reasons
Use synonyms
 that lead to the fact that riding a bicycle does not gain popularity. Obviously, cycling is not as convenient as commuting by other transportation
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 or motorbike, especially to
long- distance
Correct your spelling
long-distance
show examples
 places. Most people today are too busy with their hasty pace of life, so they desire to save as much time as possible to move from their house to their workplace and vice versa.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, cycling requires much more energy than other forms of transport,
hence
Linking Words
 it is not suitable for everyone.
This
Linking Words
 makes them decide to choose some other fast-moving vehicles
instead
Linking Words
. On a broader scale, traffic conditions nowadays are getting worse and worse and other vehicles
such
Linking Words
 as container trucks, cars and motorbikes are likely to trigger a number of threats to
cyclists
Use synonyms
. Traffic accidents and casualties have significantly increased annually, and people who use non-motorized vehicles
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
 bicycles may be at high risk. In order to holistically address the aforementioned
reasons
Use synonyms
, drastic measures are needed. In the foreseeable future, companies or factories should allow their employees to have flexible time working so that they can avoid going to work and returning home at peak times.
This
Linking Words
 makes workers feel more motivated to choose a more eco-friendly means of transport without fearing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
getting late to work.
Health
Correct article usage
The health
show examples
 benefits of cycling should be propagandized widely as well, so more people may consider cycling as a good way to stay healthy. In the long term, dignitaries may enforce higher tolls for cars or motorbikes to reduce traffic on the roads, and separated lanes for
cyclists
Use synonyms
 should be widened.
This
Linking Words
 would help increase the security of
cyclists
Use synonyms
 and reduce their commute time. In conclusion, there are tons of
reasons
Use synonyms
 behind the unpopularity of cycling, and some solutions must be taken to raise the number of
cyclists
Use synonyms
 as much as possible.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the task. You have addressed the reasons for the unpopularity of cycling and proposed solutions to increase its popularity. Well done!
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Your essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. You have presented a well-organized argument with coherent and cohesive reasoning. However, try to provide more specific examples to support your points and establish stronger connections between your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: