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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In a number of countries, following a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 has become very popular.
Although
Linking Words
 being a vegetarian can limit the
options
Use synonyms
 when eating, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because it allows the body to work properly. For vegetarian
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 it is difficult to find varied
options
Use synonyms
 to eat. Since the majority of the worldwide population
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a
diet
Use synonyms
 that includes animal
products
Use synonyms
,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 type of
food
Use synonyms
 is the one
that is
Linking Words
 normally available at
food
Use synonyms
 businesses.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 with a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 have to choose between a limited number of plates or
products
Use synonyms
 when buying
food
Use synonyms
 or eating out.
For example
Linking Words
, in many popular restaurants in Colombia, the menu has only a short vegetarian section which includes only two or three plates that are completely vegetarian.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that those
options
Use synonyms
 that are offered are healthier than plates that are sold in large quantities. Following a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 allows the body to work better.
This
Linking Words
 is because science has shown that when our human system digests animal
products
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as meat, it has to work harder to process the
food
Use synonyms
 that it is not designed to receive.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 that have a
diet
Use synonyms
 based on plants and seeds are more prone to have a healthier life because they allow their bodies to focus their energy
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 normal processes.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who become vegetarian are less prone to get sick because their immune system has all the energy focused on fighting bacteria and not causing chronic inflammation because of the
food
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 why I consider that following a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 can have more benefits in the long term. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 vegetarian
people
Use synonyms
 have fewer
options
Use synonyms
 when buying
products
Use synonyms
 without animal ingredients, it is my belief that following a vegetarian
diet
Use synonyms
 has a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
body
Change noun form
body's
show examples
 functions.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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