The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum to what extinct do you agree?

The increasing number of obese
people
is burdening the
health care
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healthcare
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system.
According to
some, the best method to curtail the challenge is to initiate additional sports and exercise classes in school programmes. In my opinion, I partially agree, that physical activities
helps
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help
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people
lose weight, but I
also
believe that dieting is
of
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apply
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importance
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important
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.
Overweight
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Being overweight
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causes various conditions
such
as diabetes, high blood pressure, and even stroke in some circumstances. These are not
once off
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once-off
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treatment diseases, but the patients become regular and dependent on special chronic medication. A lot of
people
believe that inactivity is a major contributor to
people
being overweight;
therefore
,
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
call for more exercise in schools. The belief is that during
exercising
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exercise
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, most of the fat in the body is burnt out.
Therefore
, when individuals keep lean and fit bodies through
exercising
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exercise
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, they do not easily fall sick.
As a result
, the
health care
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healthcare
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system will be more readily available to attend to critical conditions.
However
,
in addition
to physical education classes, I think dieting is equally vital. If the right diet is not maintained,
then
exercising
only
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apply
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may be futile as a means to lose weight. Despite a good
exercising
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exercise
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program, continually eating
of
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apply
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junk food will cause unhealthy issues including obesity.
Hence
, my conviction,
that
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is that
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dieting with exercising could prove to be a more better curriculum than doing activities alone. In conclusion, I recommend that schools incorporate proper diets to suit their various
extra curriculum
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extracurricular
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physical activities. In doing so,
people
will become aware of how important as well
is
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as
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health
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healthy
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eating to
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
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fitness.
Submitted by mmarizani on

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Task Response
Ensure that you clearly express whether you fully agree or partially agree with the statement in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the use of cohesive devices and transition words to better connect ideas and improve overall coherence.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and utilize more precise and varied language to express ideas.
Grammatical Range
Work on sentence structure variety and use a wide range of grammatical structures to enhance clarity and coherence in expression.
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