IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, school children are required to wear school uniforms. Do you think this should be enforced in all schools?

#countries #school #children #uniforms #schools
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In
Change preposition
At
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 present time, various schools in different nations do not give permission to their student to wear casual clothing and bound them to follow the rule of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
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dress
Use synonyms
 code. I personally deem that
this
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 rule should be implemented in other educational institutions too because it would bring uniformity and avoid environmental distractions for children. To commence with the virtues of uniformity, wearing similar
dress
Use synonyms
 culture would bring equality among children from diverse backgrounds.
This
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 means, they may look alike, as it might remove the difference between
Correct article usage
the
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minor's family
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 conditions by giving them
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 look.
For instance
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,
Delhi
Correct article usage
the Delhi
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 public school of India promotes
identical
Correct article usage
an identical
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 dressing system, where 90%
students
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of students
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 come from unprivileged living conditions and
still
Add a missing verb
are still
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 respected and treated equally by
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the 10%
enrolled
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of enrolled
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 students
belong
Correct pronoun usage
who belong
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 to rich families. Henceforth,
an
Correct article usage
the
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above mentioned
Correct your spelling
abovementioned
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 example vividly demonstrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
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how identical attire could leave
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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pshycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 impact on
young
Correct article usage
the young
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 and save many lives from becoming the victim of bullying too.
Moreover
Linking Words
, having a regulation of carrying a particular
dress
Use synonyms
 code can limit the chances of juveniles
Add a missing verb
being distraction
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distraction
Replace the word
distracted
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 from their studies. To expound, when they are not allowed to
dress
Use synonyms
 up distinctively from others, it may require less time for them to get ready.
Also
Linking Words
, they might not get
much opportunity
Change the quantifier
many opportunities
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 to fascinate towards
materialistic
Add an article
the materialistic
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 world, which can distract them from their goal. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, Fairfield School of Pakistan
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 announces
best
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the best
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 academic results annually issue
hefty
Add an article
a hefty
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 fine to its students
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if they do not follow their prescribed
dressing
Replace the word
dress
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, it could be considered that by following
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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dress
Use synonyms
 policy, children stay more focused
in
Change preposition
on
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 studies. In conclusion, it can be
summarised
Correct your spelling
summarized
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 that
an
Remove the article
apply
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enforcement of
dress
Use synonyms
 code tradition offers enormous benefits.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there may not wrong
in
Change preposition
with
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 it, if
this
Linking Words
 regulation is imposed in all schools.
Submitted by meghnabawa91 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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