IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005. Summarise the information by choosing and describe the main idea, and make comparisons where appropriate.
#information #employment #rates #countries #summarise #idea #comparisons
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The provided bar chart illustrates information about
Add an article
the change
a change
show examples
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 in other
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
 between 1995 and 2005, with data presented on
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
show examples
 scale.
Overall
Linking Words
,
male's
Correct article usage
the male's
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
higher
Add a missing verb
is higher
show examples
 than
female's
Correct article usage
the female's
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
. And, in 2005
Use synonyms
employment
Correct article usage
the employment
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rate
Use synonyms
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
show examples
 than in 1995
rate
Use synonyms
. When it comes to male patterns, Iceland had the
higest
Correct your spelling
highest
employment
Use synonyms
rate
Use synonyms
 in 1995 and 2005.
They
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 figure had around 85% in 2005. And,
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of the UK significantly increased by about 18% than in 1995.
Also
Linking Words
, Newzealand and The USA increased by 10%. And, Australia's
rate
Use synonyms
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
 lowest by around 55% ,70% and in 1995 ,2005 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Australia
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Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 female's
rate
Use synonyms
 of the lowest too. the highest female
employment
Use synonyms
 rates country was Switzerland in 1995 and 2005.
Also
Linking Words
, Newzealand female figure significantly increased by about 16% than in 1995. And, The USA
rate
Use synonyms
 increased by around 14% too. Iceland and the UK went up by just 10% respectively.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparative analysis
  • trends and patterns
  • economic factors
  • stability and change
  • sector-specific
  • job market
  • workforce participation
  • fluctuations
  • economic growth
  • unemployment
  • recession
  • boom
  • labor market dynamics
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