It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is an opinion that it is crucial for individuals to take
risks
, both in their occupational lives and their private lives. For me personally, the benefits of taking risks
will outweigh the drawbacks. Not only will they increase the reward potential, but they will also
create a resilient mentality.
It is true that risks
can sometimes be severe. The potential for failure may rise, followed by a negative emotional impact. Many people are afraid to fail, so they are scared to take a risk to try. To illustrate, a start-up business, when it fails to generate profit and must be dismissed, will bring a substantial financial loss that can lead to stress for the founder.
However
, there are many benefits we might consider in taking risks
. Firstly
, it will extend the potential gain
, just like a quote said, “high-risk, high gain
.” We need to take chances and embrace the opportunities that come our way because, many times, opportunities may not come twice. For example
, the innovation of the electric vehicle (EV) will create a new market in the automotive industry; it is when Wuling dares to be the first company to sell EV cars in Indonesia that they become a pioneer of EV cars, therefore
, be a market leader and gain
much profit from it. Secondly
, if we succeed in facing and overcoming risks
, it will build resilience and boost our confidence in future challenges, so we can be more adaptive and creative in solving problems.
In conclusion, although
taking risks
might have some setbacks, the advantages of prospective gain
and a stronger mentality will surpass them. Thus
, risks
have to be well calculated and mitigated so that we may not suffer greatly when we face them.Submitted by cipi.magdalena on
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task achievement
Your essay offers a considerable and detailed response to the task prompt. It addresses the theme of taking risks in both professional and personal contexts effectively, presenting a clear opinion that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Ensure that every main point introduced in your body paragraphs directly supports your argument and provides additional examples where possible.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are logically structured, and the essay flows well from one point to the next. However, enhancing the connection between sentences and paragraphs with a broader variety of linking words could improve coherence and flow even further. Additionally, ensuring that every idea is fully developed will bolster the cohesion of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is succinct, clearly stating your position. The conclusion effectively reiterates this stance, offering a balanced end to your argument.
logical structure
The essay is well-organized with each paragraph having a clear purpose and contributing to the main argument. Transitions between ideas are smooth, contributing to a coherent reading experience.
supported main points
Good use of specific examples, such as the illustration of a start-up business and Wuling entering the EV market. These examples effectively support your main points and make your argument more compelling.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas and position are clear and well-articulated throughout the essay. This makes your main argument strong and easily understandable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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