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Writing Samples /
Band 6

improvemnts in health, education and trade are essessential for the development of poorer nations. however, the goverments of richer nations should take responsibilities for helping the poorer nations in such areas. to what extend do you agree?

#improvemnts #health #education #trade #development #nations #goverments #responsibilities #areas
Health, education and trade are the most needed basic infrusture in the poorer nations to initiate its development.
For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 when the
country
 faces financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in managing
such
scarsity
Correct your spelling
scarcity
, wealthier
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 schools support
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 all their possible ways. Doing so will not only helps the poorer
country
 but
also
 raises their value for helping
in
Correct pronoun usage
those in
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 need. I do agree with the statement and in the following
lines
Add a comma
,lines
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 I will explain more on the given topic.
To begin
 with, when the
country
 is battling its poverty there will be no other options
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 to go for global help in restoring their basic needs. When in
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
 bigger countries are responsible for their support.
This
 will help build and continue their developmental activities.
For example
, Bhutan during its early nineties
country
 is
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
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, more foreign supporters are taken during that time.
This
 helped them build schools; hospitals by which people are now more educated and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 good health facilities became economically stable now after two decades. Recently Bhutan has graduated from
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 developed
country
. Some people argue that it is not
necessarily
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necessary
show examples
 to seek help when the
country
 is not able to cope with the growing demand for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health facilities. The
country
 itself has to put in hard work to maintain balance in the
country
. If not it will be like Tibetans who were once too dependent on China later got annexed becoming its victim.
However
 there is no other way
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 to seek help, but it will be
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
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hand
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hands
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whom to seek and from
who
Change the pronoun
whom
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 to receive donation
offer
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offers
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. In a nutshell, providing help and making poorer
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
 healthier by means of building basic infrastructure will benefit not only the host nation but donors too, it is always interdependent.
Therefore
 it is always wiser to pull up challenged nations.
Submitted by rinchennima77 on

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