IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

General You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part-time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: •Explain why you want to reduce your working hours, •Say which hours you would like to work, •Describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………….. , You get 20 minutes to complete this task.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr. Smith, I hope
this
Linking Words
 message finds you well. I am writing to inform you of my intention to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 in a cybersecurity
course
Use synonyms
. In order to pursue
this
Linking Words
 opportunity, I kindly request your permission to reduce my working hours. The
course
Use synonyms
 will be held at Crown University and will take place from 8:00 AM to 12:00 PM every day for one month. Given the timing, it would be challenging for me to manage both the
course
Use synonyms
 and my current work responsibilities simultaneously. I understand that there is a considerable demand in the office, and I am aware that my participation in
this
Linking Words
course
Use synonyms
 could disrupt the workflow. To minimize any potential impact, I propose to work from 1:00 PM to 5:00 PM.
Additionally
Linking Words
, I am more than willing to adjust my schedule and work late if urgent matters arise.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying cybersecurity will not only enhance my skills but
also
Linking Words
 benefit the company. By gaining new knowledge in
this
Linking Words
 field, I will be better equipped to contribute to our team and help strengthen our security measures against cyber threats. Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response. Kind regards, Chris

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a little more detail on how the cybersecurity skills will be directly applied in your current role to enhance the task response.
coherence cohesion
You could add a transitional phrase in the second paragraph for smoother flow, like 'To achieve this goal,' before 'I kindly request'.
task achievement
The letter clearly addresses each required point: reason for reduced hours, preferred hours, and potential benefits to the company.
task achievement
The tone is respectful and professional, which is suitable for a letter to a boss.
coherence cohesion
The letter is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which aids in coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph addresses a single idea, such as reason for reduced hours and proposed schedule, which enhances clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pursue further education
  • Enhance my qualifications
  • Current commitments
  • Propose a flexible schedule
  • Core working requirements
  • Availability
  • Direct benefits
  • Acquiring new skills
  • Efficiency improvements
  • Innovative solutions
  • Strategic insights
What to do next:
Look at other essays: