IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The graph and the table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

The graph and the table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries
The line graph depicts the usage of
water
 globally by three different sectors which are Agriculture, Industrial and Domestic use,
while
, the table illustrates the percentage of that consumed in 2 nations in the
year
 2000.
Overall
,
according to
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 was used at
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 level by the agriculture sector as compared to rest two segments,
whereas
, as per the table Brazil has
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
a maximum
show examples
 amount of
water
 utilization in comparison to Congo. On the one hand,
water
 used by Agriculture part has dramatically surged from 500 km3 in the
year
 1990 to
3000km3
Correct your spelling
3000 km3
 in the
year
 2000.
Moreover
, Industrial use and domestic use of
water
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 consistent at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 level between the years 1900 to 1950 at only 2km3 respectively,
however
, it rose gradually in the
year
 2000
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the Industrial usage was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
600km3 and
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
show examples
 sector was at only 200km3 which was at lowest as compared to other two parts.
According to
 the table, Brazil had the highest population with 176 million, irrigated land at 26,500km2 and
water
 consumption
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
 individual at 359m3,
whereas
,
in contrast
, the
water
 consumption in
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of Congo country was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 in all areas.
Submitted by pooja22nov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, year, km with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: