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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and the table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

The graph and the table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
#information #water #consumption #two #countries
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The line graph depicts the usage of
water
Use synonyms
 globally by three different sectors which are Agriculture, Industrial and Domestic use,
while
Linking Words
, the table illustrates the percentage of that consumed in 2 nations in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 was used at
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
 level by the agriculture sector as compared to rest two segments,
whereas
Linking Words
, as per the table Brazil has
maximum
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the maximum
a maximum
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 amount of
water
Use synonyms
 utilization in comparison to Congo. On the one hand,
water
Use synonyms
 used by Agriculture part has dramatically surged from 500 km3 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1990 to
3000km3
Correct your spelling
3000 km3
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Industrial use and domestic use of
water
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
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 consistent at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 level between the years 1900 to 1950 at only 2km3 respectively,
however
Linking Words
, it rose gradually in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the Industrial usage was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
600km3 and
domestic
Add an article
the domestic
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 sector was at only 200km3 which was at lowest as compared to other two parts.
According to
Linking Words
 the table, Brazil had the highest population with 176 million, irrigated land at 26,500km2 and
water
Use synonyms
 consumption
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
 individual at 359m3,
whereas
Linking Words
,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in
Democratic
Correct article usage
the Democratic
show examples
 Republic of Congo country was
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 in all areas.
Submitted by pooja22nov on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, year, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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