IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

May people hold the view that it is better to buy their home rather than rent it. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #home #rent
It’s often said that renting a
house
 is not as good as buying it.
This
 writer agrees with
this
 point of view and will explain why during the essay.
To begin
 with, purchasing an accommodation is often comfortable and convenient for customers to live in. Residents buying their houses are able to manage and arrange their living spaces, it cannot be denied that using their own arranged houses could bring freedom and reliability to them.
As a consequence
, their tidy
house
 could have positive effects on the mood of inhabitants,
therefore
, they would work more effectively and could be able to enjoy their lives better.
As a result
, spending money on the cost of houses is a good idea thanks to its convenience.
On the other hand
, people could find it’s much easier to control the expenditures of the
house
such
 as water tax, electricity bill, living fee... It’s more likely to be simple for
population
Add an article
the population
a population
show examples
 to decide the living costs,
instead
 of waiting for landlords or hosts
coming
Change the verb form
to come
show examples
 randomly in a month to ask for that price, people could be proactive to make up their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 to pay for these bills.
Above all
, they seem to be more
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxed
show examples
 to manage the money for each month,
furthermore
, they
also
 have the authorization to delay the time for their payment.
Due to
 the advantages
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 money and
supervior
Correct your spelling
supervisor
superior
 time management,
purchase
Wrong verb form
purchasing
show examples
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 is always a good selection. Finance and time are the perfect things to prove that buying a residence is the better opinions.
Thus
 it can be seen that the benefits of buying an accommodation are the most compelling reason to tempt inhabitants
take
Add the particle
to take
show examples
 it.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • property ladder
  • mortgage
  • rental agreement
  • down payment
  • equity
  • appreciate
  • rental market
  • monthly installments
  • credit score
  • repairs and maintenance
  • landlord
  • tenant
What to do next:
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