IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many parts of the world, children's were very different from today. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of life for children in the past?

#parts #world #children #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today in many
countrys
Correct your spelling
countries
due to
Linking Words
 the development of technology
Use synonyms
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 have a lot of differences in living from
children
Use synonyms
 of the past the following paragraphs describe the advantages and disadvantages of these differences. I think life for
children
Use synonyms
 in the past had advantages. 
For example
Linking Words
, they did not spend much
time
Use synonyms
 watching TV,
playing
Correct word choice
or playing
show examples
 on the phone or computer, and they spent their
time
Use synonyms
 on something better.  In his spare
time
Use synonyms
, he plays with the
children
Use synonyms
 living nearby, which teaches him to work in a team.  There is no pressure to succeed in
school
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 the
children
Use synonyms
 become timid.  It helps them not to be afraid of water
that
Correct word choice
so
show examples
 they swim in rivers with their friends.  Walking to
school
Use synonyms
 is a great benefit for their health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
children
Use synonyms
 who lived in the past
also
Linking Words
 had their disadvantages. 
For example
Linking Words
, they could not watch world news from anywhere, which caused
children
Use synonyms
 to lag behind the times. 
While
Linking Words
 playing with
children
Use synonyms
 in their spare
time
Use synonyms
, they can get injured. 
Children
Use synonyms
 were not pressured at
school
Use synonyms
, resulting in
children
Use synonyms
 being irresponsible.  Sometimes
children
Use synonyms
 swim in the water and can drown if they bathe unsupervised.  And
while
Linking Words
 walking to
school
Use synonyms
 in the past, he might be attacked on the street. In conclusion, I think these disadvantages are very few now.  Nowadays,
children
Use synonyms
 are developing very fast.  They are spending
free
Correct pronoun usage
their free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 on something useful without wasting it.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: