Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #favourite #activities

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Some individuals think that authorities should prohibit risky

sports

Use synonyms

. Others feel that

people

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should have

freedom

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the freedom

show examples

playing

Change the form of the verb

play

show examples

any

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

they want. In my opinion,

people

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should have

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to play any

sports

Use synonyms

they desire

due to

Linking Words

advancements

Change preposition

show examples

technology, and dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

can enhance

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

economy of countries. On the one hand, some think

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lawmakers should prohibit harmful

sports

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This

Linking Words

is because risky

sports

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can have a negative

impacts

Correct the article-noun agreement

impact

show examples

Use synonyms

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health. To illustrate,

people

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who

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

risky

sports

Use synonyms

are more vulnerable to

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

serious injuries.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who climb mountains are more likely to fall from

Correct article usage

the mountain

show examples

mountain

Fix the agreement mistake

mountains

show examples

and get

injury

Add an article

an injury

show examples

in their body or even

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

died.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, risky

sports

Use synonyms

can put

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of pressure on

healthcare

Add an article

the healthcare

show examples

system.

This

Linking Words

is because many

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

society will struggle with injuries and need to go to hospitals in order to take medications or surgery, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can make

financial

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the financial

a financial

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burden on

Correct article usage

the governments

show examples

governments

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government's

show examples

public budget.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, I would like to agree with those

people

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who believe the

governments

Fix the agreement mistake

government

show examples

should

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to play any

sports

Use synonyms

they want.

To begin

Linking Words

with, thanks to advancements

Change preposition

show examples

technology, there are several safety equipment

people

Use synonyms

can use to protect themselves namely, life

jacket

Fix the agreement mistake

jackets

show examples

helmet

Fix the agreement mistake

helmets

show examples

eyes

Correct word choice

and eyes

show examples

protective

Replace the word

protectors

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

these equipment

Change the determiner

this equipment

show examples

can mitigate

Correct article usage

the

show examples

chance of

get

Change the verb form

getting

show examples

injuries for

people

Use synonyms

, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

mean

Change the verb form

means

show examples

playing risky

sports

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has become safer than before.

Moreover

Linking Words

, risky

sports

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can

boosts

Wrong verb form

boost

show examples

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

econmoy

Correct your spelling

economy

country

Correct article usage

the country

show examples

. To demonstrate, many tourists will visit many

country

Change to a plural noun

countries

show examples

in order to watch dangerous

sports

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

skydiving, and

climb

Wrong verb form

climbing

show examples

mountians

Correct your spelling

mountains

Consequently

Linking Words

, tourists will spend more money on hotels, public transport, and food, which

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

prosper

Change the verb form

prospering

show examples

the economy of

country

Add an article

the country

a country

show examples

To sum up

Linking Words

, I totally believe governments should allow

people

Use synonyms

to do any activities they want because advancements

Change preposition

show examples

technology related to safety, and risky

sports

Use synonyms

can enhance

local

Correct article usage

the local

show examples

economy via attract

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

industry.

Submitted by faiz3177 on Thu Aug 17 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports. Others claim that they should have freedom to choose their favourite activities. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People, who go to live in other countries should follow the customs and tradition of the new country, to what extent to do you agree or disagree?

People believe that some individuals are born with leadership skills, while others think that leadership skills can be made. Discuss both views.

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?