The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
with the improvement of technology, the differences between developed and underdevelopment countries are rising dramatically these days.
While
some people
believe this
idea, the reverse is true for others. In this
essay, I would like to express my opinions in two different ways.
First of all, with the spread of technology and the Internet, most people
who live in underdevelopment countries are reaching some resources around the world. For instance
, these people
have a chance to access various sources about education and how to run a business. With helping
these items and tools, Verb problem
apply
people
could get a high-quality education and are transformed an individual who has critical thinking skills. Thus
, people
could work for either some companies or run their businesses
and Correct word choice
own businesses
therefore
potentially decrease the gap.
Secondly
, wealthy people
could always more access the capabilities of technology than other people
. For example
, a groundbreaking invention which could estimate health conditions with people
's movements is bought by only rich people
. People
who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth could afford to buy new technologic
toys. In Replace the word
technological
this
situation, it is clear to say that, the differences between rich and poor people
won't close in the near future.
So, to sum up
, the gap between two groups of people
is evaluated as the most significant thing in the world. Furthermore
, the governments ought to find out the best way to make
Verb problem
apply
cooperation
with all local authorities, Replace the word
cooperate
such
as the government could arrange some organisations to interact with all people
to each other via using the power of social media. It could be the only solution to this
issue.Submitted by melekevirgen on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Task Response: The essay covers both views on the impact of technology on the wealth gap. However, the examples provided need to be more balanced and the opinions more clearly expressed.
task achievement
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates some logical structure, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is limited, which affects the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.