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Band 5.5

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is dereasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#countries #world #people #cities #population #countryside #development
Rural
people
 are moving to
cities
 in many countries around the world, so the countryside’s population is decreasing. I believe that
this
 statement can be perceived as a negative development because it can disturb the national economic activity and make the rest of the rural
people
 inconvenient. Moving from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to
cities
 can probably disturb the national economic activity. As we know, the majority of rural
people
 work as farmers. If the total number of farmers drops significantly, the farming output can probably be fallen.
This
 situation may reduce the crop supply in the market, so its price can be increased.
As a result
, the national inflation rate may grow drastically. The high inflation rate can cause economic problems,
such
 as triggering unemployment, increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poverty, etc.
In addition
,
due to
 the rural
people
’s movement to
cities
,
this
 situation can potentially make the rest of rural
people
unconvenient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
.
This
 is because the
reducing
Replace the word
reduced
show examples
 number of
people
 in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 may trigger the closing of many public and private facilities.
For example
, Indomaret and Alfamart, the popular minimarket in Indonesia, have to close their shop in the countryside because the number of visitors is very low, so it can not cover the operation cost.
As a result
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
people
 may face a problem when they want to buy their daily needs. In conclusion, I think the movement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
people
 to
cities
 can be perceived as a negative thing because disturbing the national economic activity and making the rest of the rural
people
uncovenient
Correct your spelling
inconvenient
convenient
.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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