In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is dereasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Rural
people
are moving to cities
in many countries around the world, so the countryside’s population is decreasing. I believe that this
statement can be perceived as a negative development because it can disturb the national economic activity and make the rest of the rural people
inconvenient.
Moving from countryside
to Add an article
the countryside
cities
can probably disturb the national economic activity. As we know, the majority of rural people
work as farmers. If the total number of farmers drops significantly, the farming output can probably be fallen. This
situation may reduce the crop supply in the market, so its price can be increased. As a result
, the national inflation rate may grow drastically. The high inflation rate can cause economic problems, such
as triggering unemployment, increasing the
poverty, etc.
Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, due to
the rural people
’s movement to cities
, this
situation can potentially make the rest of rural people
unconvenient
. Correct your spelling
inconvenient
This
is because the reducing
number of Replace the word
reduced
people
in countryside
may trigger the closing of many public and private facilities. Add an article
the countryside
For example
, Indomaret and Alfamart, the popular minimarket in Indonesia, have to close their shop in the countryside because the number of visitors is very low, so it can not cover the operation cost. As a result
, the
rural Correct article usage
apply
people
may face a problem when they want to buy their daily needs.
In conclusion, I think the movement of the
rural Correct article usage
apply
people
to cities
can be perceived as a negative thing because disturbing the national economic activity and making the rest of the rural people
uncovenient
.Correct your spelling
inconvenient
convenient
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite