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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this proposal?

#people #music #cultures #ages
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Music
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 is believed by some to unite
people
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 of different
ages
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 and
cultures
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. I tend to agree with
this
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 statement. In my opinion,
music
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 can gather
people
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 of different
ages
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. I like listening to
music
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 and I always like to read the comments under the songs. I found that there are
people
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from
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of
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 all
ages
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 showing their love
to
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for
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 the song. It’s lucky to find
people
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 with the same interests.
Moreover
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,
However
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, I don’t think
music
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 can bring
people
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with
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from
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 different
cultures
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 together. Nowadays, more and more famous singers use
music
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 to express their dissatisfaction with a certain person or a certain
culture
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. Their words are sometimes extreme and may conflict with
people
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 from other
cultures
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.
For example
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, some white singers would use bad words
such
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 as nigger in their songs.
Such
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 discriminatory words will make the conflict between
people
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 of the two
cultures
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 bigger and bigger.
In addition
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, song styles vary from country to country and from
culture
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 to
culture
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.Some
people
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 may not like songs in other styles or languages. They might find it strange to listen to. All in all, I agree that
music
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 is a good way to bring
people
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 of different
ages
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 together, but I don’t think that
music
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 can gather
people
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 of different
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culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
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. Since
people
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 from different
cultures
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 can't understand each other’s
music
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.
Submitted by 915818382 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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