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Writing Samples
Band 7

Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange

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Dear Mr Hashemi, I am writing to let you know that I am very eager to come to your college, and talk about my country’s history, as it can be a great opportunity for me to introduce my national traditions, customs and cultures. Based on my schedule, I can do that on September 25, at 10 a.m. I would like to talk about a national celebration, which holds a special place in the hearts of Iranians. The event is Newroz Eyde, which enables people to come together and spend quality time with their friends and family through various indoor and outdoor activities.
This
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 celebration is
also
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 widely regarded as a ceremony that helps people strengthen their relationships, unwind, clear their minds, and adopt a positive outlook on their lives. The equipment that I really need them are a microphone, a desktop computer, and a projector. Since
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apply
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 I will prepare a PowerPoint, including detailed information about the celebration and photographs from my people. These photographs will contain pictures of Iranian traditional costumes in the Newroz Eyde. Thank you for your invitation. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Mohammadreza Hadavi Bavil

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task response
You answer all parts of the task. Add two or three possible dates, not only one date, to give the college a clear choice.
task response
Say more clearly that you accept the invitation. For example: “I am pleased to accept your kind invitation.”
task response
Use “Nowruz” or “the Nowruz holiday” rather than “Newroz Eyde”, unless this is the name you want to use.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a clear order: invitation, talk topic, and equipment. This makes it easy to read.
coherence and cohesion
Keep each paragraph on one main point. In the last body paragraph, write: “I will need a microphone, a computer, and a projector.” Then explain why in the next sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Do not put a comma after “Since”. Join the ideas: “I will prepare a PowerPoint with information and photos.”
task response
You clearly give a date, explain what your talk will be about, and list the equipment you need.
coherence and cohesion
The greeting, ending, and paragraph order are polite and clear.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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