IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime.Others,however,argue that the circumstances of an individual crime,and the motivation for committing it,should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction
Fixing
punishments
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 for each type of
crime
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 has been a
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
 issue.There are many arguments supporting both views,those for and those against fixed
punishments
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.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,fixed
punishments
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 will have a deterring effect on society.Individuals knowing that they will be subject to a certain punishment if they are convicted
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 a given
crime
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will reconsider committing
this
Linking Words
 act in the first place.
Body paragraph 2
If people knew they would be able to convince the court or the jury of a reason for having committed the
crime
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 they are accused of,penal decisions would be largely arbitrary.
This
Linking Words
 would result
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
 criminals getting away with their crimes and
into
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in
show examples
 a high level of injustice caused by the subjective approach of different courts.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
,taking the circumstances of a
crime
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 and its motivation into consideration is
prerequisite
Correct article usage
a prerequisite
show examples
 for establishing and ensuring justice and equity.
Body paragraph 4
A person killing in
self-defense
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self-defence
show examples
 cannot be compared to a serial killer,moving from one victim to the next.In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 an intermediary position between both solutions is the perfect way to establish and ensure justice and equity.
Body paragraph 5
There have to be fixed
punishments
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 for all crimes.
However
Linking Words
,criminal laws have to provide for a minimum and a maximum for the punishment and the laws
also
Linking Words
 have to foresee certain cases of exemptions.
Body paragraph 6
An example
for
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of
show examples
 setting minimum and maximum penalties is Competition Law where a person being held liable
of
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for
show examples
 a
crime
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 under
this
Linking Words
 law will be convicted to pay a fine,
according to
Linking Words
 harm caused by the violation and the profit gained by the violator through committing the
crime
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.
Body paragraph 7
As for the exemptions,in some
countries
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,countries
show examples
 the law exempts
thiefs
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thieves
thief
stealing
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from stealing
show examples
 food during a period of famine taking into consideration the distress and hunger.
Conclusion
Also
Linking Words
,a person killing in
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
 will be exempted from punishment.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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