While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
The shortage of skilled workers
such
as electricians and plumbers has become a problem faced by some countries in the world in recent years. Meanwhile, the market needs more practical job
applicants rather than theoretical ones. So it is important to push people
to do vocational training. The explanation behind this
opinion will be presented in this
essay.
First of all, people
who graduate from university sometimes have difficulties to adapt with their new careers because there are a lot of differences between the real tasks and the assignments they used to do in the university. The focus on the tasks is often different. In the university, students are stimulated to have more critical thinking rather than practical skills
. This
caused an unbalanced between their hard skills
and soft skills
. They tend to have more comprehension in academics. On the other hand
, the job
providers usually search for fresh graduates with better soft skills
. This
will lead to a qualification mismatch and the candidates who can not fulfil the requirements will be thrown into the job
fields they do not want.
However
, this
trouble can be solved by encouraging young people
to do vocational training. By doing it, they are expected to have specialized skills
in a particular job
field because they have learned more about the work. In addition
, people
who have been trained before have more self-confidence to do the tasks given to them since they are already used to it. As a result
, the output produced is way much better than those who have not been trained. Another advantage of having practical workers is that companies can save more on training budgets. Therefore
, if they recruit people
without any special skills
, they need to spend more money on the training program.
In conclusion, people
with vocational backgrounds are more promising for companies since they are completely ready to work in a certain position.Submitted by srsdy008 on
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General Advice
To enhance your essay and achieve a higher grade, consider incorporating a wider range of sentence structures. This diversity can add dynamism and complexity to your writing, making it more engaging and persuasive.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the question, providing a clear stance supported by relevant arguments. To further improve, aim to include more specific examples and evidence from real-world situations or studies that demonstrate the benefits of vocational training. This can make your arguments more compelling and grounded.
Task Achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by presenting counterarguments or considerations. Acknowledging potential drawbacks or challenges of vocational training before refuting them can provide a more nuanced and persuasive argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done well in organizing your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases that signal contrast, cause and effect, and comparison. This can help in making the transition between ideas smoother and your argumentation more cohesive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
