The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999).

The bar chart below shows the number of employees from the European Union in the United States (1999).
The provided bar graph illustrates information about
change
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the change
a change
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in worker categories from the EU in the USA in 2003 and 2013,
whith
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with
which
data presented
percentage
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in percentage
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scale.
Overall
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
number of employees
category
was
business
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a business
the business
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category
in 2003.
However
, in 2013, the highest
category
changed to
self employed
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self-employed
show examples
. And, in 2013,
total
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the total
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employees
figure
was lower than in 2003. In detail, the number of
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the worker
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worker
Change to a plural noun
workers
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had
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a higer
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higer
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higher
figure
than in 2003
categories
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the categories
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were education training, hotel industry, building and
self employed
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self-employed
show examples
.
On the other hand
, they had the lower
figure
catrgories
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categories
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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medicial
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medical
, business and unemployed.
Also
, the
businiess
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business
category
figure
decreased by around 40%. And, the medical
category
and unemployed
category
rate
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rates
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decaresed
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decreased
about
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by about
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10% and around 13%
repectively
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respectively
too.
However
, self the employed
category
significantly increased
about
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by about
show examples
25%. And,the hotel industry
category
has
second
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the second
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highest
incresing
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increasing
rate
. the
rate
was about up to 15%. the education training , the building
category
incresing
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increasing
rate
was about 10%, 10%
repecively
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respectively
.
Submitted by moneekun on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words category, figure, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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