1.Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development

this

modern world,

parents

always pressurise their

kids

to achieve

success

in every field. In my opinion,

this

due to

the rise in competition to secure lucrative jobs.

However

, it can lead to productive results for

children

to become successful in

future

To begin

with,

parents

begin pushing their

children

at an early age to attain vast knowledge and skills to beat tough competition in

future

. To elaborate, population growth and literacy rate is growing rapidly throughout the world.

Thus

, it leads to struggle

as well as

competition among youngsters to achieve a successful platform in

future

Therefore

parents

wish to prepare their

kids

to do hard work and achieve

success

future

For instance

, in India, the population rate is growing tremendously,

due to

this

, educated

parents

always put extreme pressure on their

kids

put

Verb problem

reach

show examples

their fullest potential and become capable

to stand

Change preposition

of standing

show examples

out from the crowd.

Furthermore

pressurising

Verb problem

pressuring

show examples

kids

to achieve

success

can bring positive results for their

future

. Because

this

approach encourages

children

to become conscious and dedicated towards their

future

As a result

children

start working for their

future

, by developing their subject knowledge and acquiring an in-depth understanding of academics.

Also

, they begin focusing on creative, analytical, and critical thinking skills at a tender age.

This

further

boost

Correct subject-verb agreement

boosts

show examples

multiple work opportunities for adolescents to accomplish

success

in the

future

For instance

, by implementing their skills and knowledge they can work for international companies, and social services, and start up their own businesses.

To conclude

, I fervently believe that pushing

children

to secure a successful life is a positive approach.

Correct word choice

Parents

show examples

parents

do not want their

kids

to struggle during their adulthood, so they want them to become

future

-focused at an early age and succeed.

Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on Fri Aug 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Establish a more clear and logical progression of ideas, using cohesive devices such as linking words, pronouns, and connectors.

lexical resource

Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating specific and precise terminology related to the topic.

grammatical range

Pay attention to more complex sentence structures and vary sentence beginnings, lengths, and types.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Excessive pressure
Academic achievements
Professional success
Secure future
Social comparison
Competitive environment
Psychological impact
Stress and anxiety
Resilience
Work ethic
Emotional well-being
Supportive parenting
Achievements
Life skills
Balance

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1.Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?