IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

1.Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

#parents #pressure #children #reason #development
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In
this
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 modern world,
parents
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 always pressurise their
kids
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 to achieve
success
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 in every field. In my opinion,
this
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 is
due to
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 the rise in competition to secure lucrative jobs.
However
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, it can lead to productive results for
children
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 to become successful in
future
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.
To begin
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 with,
parents
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 begin pushing their
children
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 at an early age to attain vast knowledge and skills to beat tough competition in
future
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. To elaborate, population growth and literacy rate is growing rapidly throughout the world.
Thus
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, it leads to struggle
as well as
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 competition among youngsters to achieve a successful platform in
future
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.
Therefore
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,
parents
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 wish to prepare their
kids
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 to do hard work and achieve
success
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 in
future
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.
For instance
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, in India, the population rate is growing tremendously,
due to
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this
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, educated
parents
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 always put extreme pressure on their
kids
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 to
put
Verb problem
reach
show examples
 their fullest potential and become capable
to stand
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of standing
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 out from the crowd.
Furthermore
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,
pressurising
Verb problem
pressuring
show examples
kids
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 to achieve
success
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 can bring positive results for their
future
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. Because
this
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 approach encourages
children
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 to become conscious and dedicated towards their
future
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.
As a result
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,
children
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 start working for their
future
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, by developing their subject knowledge and acquiring an in-depth understanding of academics.
Also
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, they begin focusing on creative, analytical, and critical thinking skills at a tender age.
This
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further
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boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
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 multiple work opportunities for adolescents to accomplish
success
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 in the
future
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.
For instance
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, by implementing their skills and knowledge they can work for international companies, and social services, and start up their own businesses.
To conclude
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, I fervently believe that pushing
children
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 to secure a successful life is a positive approach.
As
Correct word choice
Parents
show examples
parents
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 do not want their
kids
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 to struggle during their adulthood, so they want them to become
future
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-focused at an early age and succeed.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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task response
Ensure that the ideas directly and clearly address the task question, and all parts of the question are covered.
coherence cohesion
Establish a more clear and logical progression of ideas, using cohesive devices such as linking words, pronouns, and connectors.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used, incorporating specific and precise terminology related to the topic.
grammatical range
Pay attention to more complex sentence structures and vary sentence beginnings, lengths, and types.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
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