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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#experts #country #wealth #citizens
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It is debatable whether
first world
Add a hyphen
first-world
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countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 increase in economic growth makes a difference to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 citizens. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will support my opinion with relevant examples. When a rich nation continues to grow it offers more benefits to its constituents. It gives more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 for the underprivileged. The
government
Use synonyms
 can provide more support to the community.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
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 they can allocate more funds
on
Change preposition
to
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 education, housing and so much more.
This
Linking Words
 will result
to
Change preposition
in
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 the construction of more
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 and establishments
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 hospitals and schools. Tax might be lowered in view of the fact that the nation is wealthy.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 giving free education or sponsorship program during college. In
turn
Add a comma
,turn
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 the citizen who was given the opportunity to study can give back to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
his
her
show examples
 community by serving the country
for instance
Linking Words
 for 2 years, depending on the agreement between the
government
Use synonyms
 and the student.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 can provide more free healthcare services to the people. Having a wealthy coffer is an advantage. In times of unforeseen calamity in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 the
government
Use synonyms
 can easily respond. Covid--19 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent example, even the richest of the nations
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 not prepared for
this
Linking Words
 event and
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
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lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of hospitals and nurses. But,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that they have the money. They can easily assemble researchers to combat these
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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, unlike the other nations
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are poor that need to wait for the wealthy nations to provide assistance. In conclusion, the citizen will feel satisfied when they see that their economic growth is increasing. They can have a more
up to date
Add a hyphen
up-to-date
show examples
 healthcare system and
received
Wrong verb form
receive
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 a free education.
Submitted by Anneya on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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